Why Journalists Are Awkward Royalty

Imagine you're in a fancy ballroom. When you look around you see Women in pretty ball gowns with silky white gloves and Men in Tuxes with exquisite gold buttons on their sleeves. There's a big fancy party going on, and you're observing it wanting to remember every detail about it. 

Now, Imagine you're in boxers and everyone is staring at you. Throw a camera in the mix, and congratulations! You now have a small taste of what it feels like to be a journalist. 

I recently had to cover a few events for a newspaper. At the events hot topics in the United Stated and the Middle East we discussed. At both of these events the media was blamed for a large portion of what's wrong in both parts of the world. 

That's great. 

I encourage people to question where their news is coming from, and to be mindful that not all sources are valid or get the full story. 

But being the person snapping pictures of everything and writing down everyone’s every word—awkward!

New Vocab!

Awker—(n.)

1.       A person that you frequently have awkward moments with.

2.       A person who is not yet a weirdo, but they’re on their way.

3.       A person who purposely tries to make other people feel awkward for attention.

Synonyms :

weirdo- crackpot- kook

5 Tips For Dealing With People That Ticked You Off

1. Let your inner gangsta' out.

You don't have to stroll up to the person like you're gonna start a rap battle. Just send them a text, or a message on Facebook. This is such a small step, but you'd be shocked how many people type messages then never press SEND. Send that message, yo!

2. Try not to use the words "You Did"

You don't want the person to feel attacked. Try saying "I feel that you.." whatever. The person is more likely to listen to you because you're not accusing them, you're telling them your feelings about the situation.

3. Don't let your emotions overpower the main goal

The main goal is to mend this relationship right? So, don't get so emotional that you lose sight of the goal. Be brief. Be factual. Be cool. Relax.

4. Wear Sunglasses

Sometimes it's better to have something covering your eyes. This might be an awkward tip, but it helps. If you decide to talk to that person one-on-one-face-to-face, awesome. Sunglasses offer a nice buffer if you don't feel comfortable looking the person in the face. To some people eye contact is the hardest part. With your sunglasses on feel free to look around.

5. Hug it out

I'm a firm believer that an argument or disagreement is not over until there are hugs involved. Even if you didn't hear everything you wanted to hear, if most things got resolved let it go. Hug it out, even if it's an awkward hug.

Awkward People Who Used To Talk To You

We all have a friend that suddenly turned on us. It usually happens like this:

You inadvertently piss someone off, and then poof it's World War III in that person's mind. They suddenly stop speaking to you, pretend not to see you when you're waving at them like an idiot and eventually when you stop trying they unfriend you on Facebook (stop it, you know you care about Facebook).

This is normal behavior for little girls in 8th grade, but if you're in your 20's... grow up. Tell the person why they pissed you off. Chances are if they were friendly towards you they didn't mean to offend you. Everyone has this slogan that they use as a cover up to avoid awkward conversations "I hate confrontation".

Well, get over it.

You don't have to be aggressive, but you have to open your mouth.You'll see, if you actually say things when it happens situations like this wouldn't happen so often. When you bottle it up you are very likely to create a storm cloud in your head, and make everything 10X more awful. Trust me, It's far better to have a conversation with someone than to be mad at them for having their food on the same shelf as yours in the fridge.

That's just cray...

What's Gender?

Have you ever said Hi to Keith just to realize that not only is Keith actually named Paul, but Paul is short for Pauline? 

Gender is becoming so blended. Now, anyone can be any gender. 

Seriously, it's great. 

It speaks a lot about growing acceptance in our culture. Sometimes it's a fun guessing game, but makes for some awkward moments. Anyone have any experiences like this?

FYI, I'm not rude I'm just confused. 

Awkward Bats In the... Just Read It

I never learned the proper way to tell someone they have a booger in their nose.

I usually stare at it until I'm afraid it's going to fly out and hit me in the face. Then I'll say something dumb like:

"You have some bats in your cave..."

 

That only confuses everyone. It's almost as bad as telling people their fly is down. So AwKWaRd.

 

Awkward Everyday Moments (With Celebs!)

Celebrities are more like us than we think.

They probably ring up 10X more awkward moments than 1,000 people not rich, beautiful (in some cases) and famous. Here's some everyday awkward moments everyone, even celebs, have to go through:

We all have to deal with crazy people at our jobs. It may have been towards a customer or a co-worker, but we've all made this face before. It's okay, Britney Spears!

Going to the Dentist sucks! Why do they always want to talk to you when you have a mouth full of stuff like Kim Kardashian here? Hang in there, Kimmy!

Clapping for someone you don't like is the worst thing ever, but we all have to do it sometimes. Have to clap for some jerk who won the office raffle? Take a hint from Natalie Portman here. You can clap and make a funny face-- it might make you feel better.

Kids are cute and apart of our everyday lives, but sometimes they're a handful! If it's your own kid, you're on your own. But, if it's a friend's baby pass that kid back to its Mommy quick! Former President Bush gets the idea.

Eating anything not on a stick or bun at a sporting event is always a task. It's nice to know even Beyonce and Jay-Z have a hard time eating... what the heck is that? Pizza?

Awkward Purchases

Buying Plan B, condoms, gum, Vagisil, Summers Eve, a Yo-Yo, Vaseline and the sexy issue of Cosmopolitan magazine will get you a lot of odd looks.

But c'mon, those things make sense to purchase together.

Clearly this girl had a wild night and is planning on many more, but this time she's prepared!

Buying super personal items when strangers are ringing you up is, well, strange. However, when someone you know is ringing you up the awkward level is through the roof.

I'll give you examples of both.

I once stopped by a small pharmacy with my boyfriend. We had ran out of some basic necessities. I was 21-years-old at the time, but I'm told I have a young face. My boyfriend was 6'4" and had a lot of facial hair. Even though he didn't look old, he looked older than me. There as a little old lady behind the pharmacy counter, and when we put our items on the counter she asked me for my ID.

This would be normal if we were buying some smokes. But, we were just picking up some Doritos, Tylenol, nail polish remover and oh yeah, condoms.

She told me that it was the store policy to card girls under 18 that were buying condoms. I realized just how wrong this is a little later. If young girls are having sex, they should have access to condoms. But, that's another blog post.

It was so awkward having this woman stand there and analyze every aspect of my ID. I felt like I was at the airport. She flipped it over, held a flashlight to it and even asked me if I lost weight since the picture was taken. Then she asked for my boyfriend's ID. It was the longest condom run in history.

Another odd moment was when I decided to try to buy some feminine products and an old teacher of mine was ringing me out. I wondered what happened to his teaching gig?!

Awkward Tummy Noises

My stomach growls at the worst times ever.

 It's so loud and annoying! Try talking to your professor when your stomach is screaming FEED ME! 

It's even more awkward when you're trying to log in some cuddle time. I know everyone needs to eat and everyone does it, but how awkward is it explaining to your partner: 

"Oh I didn't fart, Honey. I'm just friggin' starving!"

 They'll never believe you...

Headphones and Bluetooths are Mean

Oh, sorry were you reading my blog? I had my headphones in I didn't hear you.

How many times have you said a variation of that sentence?

Now that a majority of human interaction is electronic, it’s not surprising that people have no idea if someone is talking to them or not.

For example, yesterday my friend had a 10 minute conversation with me while walking to lunch. I only heard the last few seconds because I had my headphones in.

I think that clothing manufactures and electronic companies have a giggle about the confusion they create. I have a sweatshirt that has a hole in the pocket to hide your headphones in. I’m assuming so that they won’t get wet or damaged if you’re working out or something. But, there’s a flaw in the design. If you wear the sweatshirt when you’re walking around like most people (who works out in a sweatshirt), no one knows you’re listening to music.

This little conundrum has taken a turn towards the awkward. What do you do when you’re having a conversation with someone, and they turn around and say “I’m on the phone”? Some people get really angry when they discover you weren’t talking to them.

My advice? Look before you talk. It might be awkward to stare at someone’s ears before you talk to them, but bite the bullet. It’s even more awkward to have to explain to someone you have been following them for 10 minutes before they noticed your presence.  

 ;) 

An Awkwardly Crappy Moment

Have you ever walked into a public bathroom and run into someone just coming out? If not, you’re lucky. If you have you know it’s a little awkward.

The situation escalates quickly when the bathroom is a little smelly.

 Today I was walking into a public bathroom with one of my friends. When we walked in everything was normal until I noticed we weren’t alone. There were two girls already in there. I thought they were behaving a little strangely.

 One of them was lingering by the stall while the other girl was washing her hands super fast. Soap bubbles and water were going all over the sink and the floor, and she was speaking to her friend in a panicked voice in a different language.

My friend said Hi to the girl guarding the stall, and then she left her post and rushed over to the sink. While she was at the sink my friend stepped into the stall then quickly jumped back out. I asked her what was wrong, but she didn’t need to tell me.

That’s when it hit me—I smelled the problem.

We didn’t want to be rude and rush out the bathroom, and for some odd reason the other girls were still lingering by the sink. The longer we stood there the longer the err, problem, permeated the air. In the end we just decided to be rude and run for the exit.

It was one awkward trip to the bathroom. 

Why yes; yes it does, smart button.

Only sometimes, Peter.

I think that's a good idea!

Everybody poops, no judgement! Just bring some body spray with you.

Awkward Introduces, Yo!

Well, this probably should have been the first post.

This blog is about the daily awkward moments that are currently ruining our otherwise lovely lives. From Facebook “pokes” to Office blunders this blog is here to comfort you—you’re not alone.

In this blog awkward moments will be presented, dissected, digested and in some cases totally resolved. So stay tuned, you just might be able to get that weirdo in your life once and for all!

Awkward Kisses,

Whitly

Awkward Hugs

Going back to school or work after taking a break is the breeding ground for some of the most awkward interactions of our time.

I sat outside my dorm room and watched two girls run into each other after Winter break concluded. One of them was moving their stuff in the apartment the other one carrying Target bags. The conversation went like this:

Target Girl: Oh, Hey. What’s up?

Yoga Mat Girl: Hey, how was your break?

Target Girl: It was good how was yours?

Yoga Mat Girl: Good, Good. I didn’t talk to you all break I missed you.

Target Girl: Yeah…

That’s then it happened—Yoga Mat Girl went in for the hug.

 It wasn’t a smooth transaction. Yoga Mat Girl leaned in with her arms open. Target Girl didn’t move a muscle. She just stood there in front of Yoga Mat Girl smiling and nodding. It was such a forced smile too. The type where the girls’ eyes go squinty and their nose crinkles up like they smell something foul.

Yoga Mat Girl gave up and put her arms down a few seconds later, but then Target Girl felt like a jerk. Her eyes regained a round shape and her forced smile melted to a natural straight lip.  Both girls laughed, and then brave Yoga Mat Girl tried again. This time Target Girl accepted her hug.

 The awkward hug lasted about 6 seconds both of them still laughing. Target Girl’s bags smacked against Yoga Mat Girl’s back, and the yoga mat popped Target Girl in the back of the head. They stood there and Yoga Mat Girl used her mat to gently pat Target Girl in the back of the head on purpose. Target Girl pulled away first, and then they looked at each other smiling for 3 seconds before they both decided to get away from each other as quickly as possible.

I wasn’t sure why this interaction was so awkward. My mind started racing.

 I thought maybe they had a fight before the break, but then they resolved it during the break over Facebook like normal people. Reconciling over Facebook is the greatest thing ever. However, running into the person you were fighting with can get a little awkward. Being in the same room with that person can be uncomfortable. I mean if you’re friends on Facebook chances are you’ll eventually be smashing your faces together for pictures again, but that first offline experience is tricky.

I once made up with a guy friend over Facebook, and later ended up telling him he was a terrible kisser over $3 margaritas. He asked me about his kissing abilities, so I thought he would be okay with me being honest.

Well, he wasn’t.

He made up an excuse to split, and I had no option but to accept it. When we were leaving I wanted to give him a hug because I felt like a jerk. I leaned in for a hug, but he just stood there. I decided I would go all the way. I wrapped my arms around him while he stood there straight armed and cold. He asked me if I was done, and I said yes. I then walked away and got on the subway. As soon as I got my phone out my purse I deleted him from my Facebook again.

Famous AwKWaRd Hugs

I don't understand why this is awkward. Is it the jacket? 

I think that Taylor Lautner's hands tell the story.

Even President Obama gets awkwardly hugged!

When in doubt, go for a high five.